When I told you I wanted us,
I meant it every day.
Like clockwork, and a little more.
And I guess, here's how I thought it would be.
If you can stop speaking like someone in full vindication,
It will probably make me stop speaking like a prosecutor.
You stop saying you're sorry.
I'll stop saying, "I forgive thee."
You stop pointing out which is which, the victim, when we fight,
And I will probably stop thinking of you as the miscreant in my head.
You stop making mistakes, especially the unforgivable ones,
And it will definitely stop making me feel like love is a punishment.
If you can, please stop expecting me to forget things after a fight.
I promise to stop expecting you to change overnight.
You stop saying her name over and over again,
I will start believing you in vain.
And when we stop fighting like we want to leave,
We may have more reason to stay.
I wanted to say hello, but never actually sent the message. It wasn't because I wasn’t willing to make contact; rather, I thought that popping up out of the blue would be a kind of trespass. I was scared to death that if I started suddenly, you would shut the door before I could see you. I didn’t want to be amongst all the other interruptions in your life that vanish as soon as you hit block, or be the reason for your reflex of self-protection. So I went away without saying goodbye, keeping it in my pocket. But here, talking honestly in your own gentle manner, I can sense that something has changed. A tiny authorization. A small glow. It was enough for me to respond not only with words but with commitment to everything you wrote. That is exactly what I am indebted to you for: your time, not your value judgments. The way you portray yourself is not a mere characterization but a look - a look that shows how your total inner world is affected and how your heart is both your guide and ...