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Markus and Keira's in between

It wasn't her plan to fall in love, It wasn't his plan to stay. But it wasn't surprising either, How can two people fall on a random night. It was the way he remembers that she does not drink coffee, and that she wants her Milo in two because of the sweetness and her ocd. It was the way he explained the jokes to her, and he would still continue joking regardless. The way he waits for her to smile after a long, tiring day, as if it's the only agenda he actually wants to care about. It was the way their conversations stayed in the room even long after they ended. Because that's how she is to him. He made no promises to keep. He wasn't ready to cross the line either. They were just a connection waiting to happen. Waiting for one party to ruin the friendship. He knew she belonged to other people. He knows about her life and how she tries to help others. He knew some version of her that others do not know. And somewhere in that knowing chaos between the ".. how...
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Day 277 of 366

I've been seeing you quite often, so it makes me wonder How cruel fate is for us to cross paths even after things did not actually work out between the two of us. Once again, you appeared in front of me.  But this time, in a dream. Where I least expect it. You sighed with a knowing smile, "How are you now? Do you still think of me?" I knew I hesitated there.  All the pain I've been hiding came rushing. Like water waiting to overflow. "I don't know, but I don't think I love you like before." "You're a known stranger now." I continued.  It almost came out as a whisper.  Something I feel like I am not ready to admit. I guess the truth is now out.  You're a stranger I cry for every night. When the lights are out, and all my work is done, Your face is still the one I want to look at. You're a stranger, I tell myself every day. A stranger whose absence made me feel like the magic is gone. The love is gone. And the damage has been done...

Poems I can't remember writing #9

When I told you I wanted us, I meant it every day. Like clockwork, and a little more. And I guess, here's how I thought it would be. If you can stop speaking like someone in full vindication, It will probably make me stop speaking like a prosecutor. You stop saying you're sorry. I'll stop saying, "I forgive thee." You stop pointing out which is which, the victim, when we fight, And I will probably stop thinking of you as the miscreant in my head. You stop making mistakes, especially the unforgivable ones, And it will definitely stop making me feel like love is a punishment. If you can, please stop expecting me to forget things after a fight. I promise to stop expecting you to change overnight. You stop saying her name over and over again, I will start believing you in vain. And when we stop fighting like we want to leave, We may have more reason to stay.

Day 6 of 366

I feel like I am still finding faults with life and everything, still searching for a spot, or anything I could place the blame because I can't seem to bear to place it on you even after the facts that you've been hurting me.

Thanatos is a familiar friend

I wonder how Thanatos will conduct himself, When it finds me in a state of unreservedly perished. Will it halt befuddled, Wondering who took me, Did the poison work before he arrived? Or did I self-destruct Because it definitely does not seem like I'm capable of doing so. I wonder if he will be shocked when it hits him That there's nothing left to aver No soul attached, No breath to purloin, Just a body to burn. Or will he chuckle silently, Because the day finally arrived. Where I shall be free. For he recognizes I've been dead inside for ages. And I have been preparing my own memorial service, long before Thanatos came down and showed up.