Skip to main content

Day 277 of 366

I've been seeing you quite often, so it makes me wonder
How cruel fate is for us to cross paths
even after things did not actually work out
between the two of us.

Once again, you appeared in front of me. 
But this time, in a dream.
Where I least expect it.
You sighed with a knowing smile,
"How are you now? Do you still think of me?"

I knew I hesitated there. 
All the pain I've been hiding came rushing.
Like water waiting to overflow.

"I don't know, but I don't think I love you like before."
"You're a known stranger now." I continued. 
It almost came out as a whisper. 
Something I feel like I am not ready to admit.

I guess the truth is now out. 
You're a stranger I cry for every night.
When the lights are out, and all my work is done,
Your face is still the one I want to look at.

You're a stranger, I tell myself every day.
A stranger whose absence made me feel like the magic is gone.
The love is gone.
And the damage has been done.

You're a stranger who haunts me in every corner of my house.
Because you were my own Cornelia Street.
And your laugh will continue to echo in my mind,
Until the day I finally learn to let you go completely.

You're the stranger,
the one I convinced myself
I've moved on with.

Labels:

Popular posts from this blog

Day 3 of 366

I wanted to say hello, but never actually sent the message. It wasn't because I wasn’t willing to make contact; rather, I thought that popping up out of the blue would be a kind of trespass. I was scared to death that if I started suddenly, you would shut the door before I could see you. I didn’t want to be amongst all the other interruptions in your life that vanish as soon as you hit block, or be the reason for your reflex of self-protection. So I went away without saying goodbye, keeping it in my pocket. But here, talking honestly in your own gentle manner, I can sense that something has changed. A tiny authorization. A small glow. It was enough for me to respond not only with words but with commitment to everything you wrote. That is exactly what I am indebted to you for: your time, not your value judgments. The way you portray yourself is not a mere characterization but a look - a look that shows how your total inner world is affected and how your heart is both your guide and ...
Read more

Excerpt from an email I never sent #10

 There are days when I feel like you regret having me in your life. Like when someone wants milk but gets coffee instead, or how someone wants gold but got silver instead, and then there's the rush of feeling disappointed that comes after. I hope you don't have that kind of regret, where you would exchange anything just so you could turn back time and make me disappear. I know I am not someone you wished for with your eyes closed and heart hoping, but please do not regret having me. I hope my existence does not bring you any discomfort. I hope that, hearing my name come up on television or the radio, won't give you panic attacks and those kinds of stomachaches that come from stress. I hope seeing me in person won't give you the fright. To be honest, I do not, and never wanted to be remembered as your biggest mistake. I am pretty sure I am not one, but the look in your eyes sometimes makes me think otherwise. I try not to ask too much because I also do not want you to re...
Read more

Thanatos is a familiar friend

I wonder how Thanatos will conduct himself, When it finds me in a state of unreservedly perished. Will it halt befuddled, Wondering who took me, Did the poison work before he arrived? Or did I self-destruct Because it definitely does not seem like I'm capable of doing so. I wonder if he will be shocked when it hits him That there's nothing left to aver No soul attached, No breath to purloin, Just a body to burn. Or will he chuckle silently, Because the day finally arrived. Where I shall be free. For he recognizes I've been dead inside for ages. And I have been preparing my own memorial service, long before Thanatos came down and showed up.
Read more